The Sound Of Sinners
by mincepie
Summary: Derek left Meredith for Addison, we all know that. But what happens when Derek and Meredith meet one last time to say goodbye? Fluffy MerDer, and a bit porny... Twoshot maybe more.
1. Part One: Remote Control

_Hi! This is an idea I've had for a little while now, and is one that I personally think would have been awesome in season two, which is where it's set. I am a huge Mer/Der fan and am absolutely disgusted at the amount of time we see them together in season three, although I've just watched the new episode – 'Walk on Water' – and am absolutely flabbergasted! I swear I had tears in my eyes when Meredith… well… I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, but let me just say that I cannot believe it ended there! Shonda Rhimes, I hate you right now!_

_Anyways, back to this. This is something I can very much imagine happening, although it gets a little 'pornier' than would be allowed to be shown on TV. But hey, it's my imagination, it's my story and I will write what I like! (About characters that I've borrowed, of course!) Oh, and in case you're wondering, I did the cheesy thing and the title is a song by The Clash, which we all know is Derek's favourite band. Because I split the story into two parts, I felt it was apt to give each part a title and so they, too, are songs by The Clash. I think that's about it as far as cheesiness goes!_

_It was supposed to be a one shot, but by the time I'd finished writing it, it was huge, so I've split it into two. I hope you like it, and please review – reviews make it all worthwhile._

_And if you're a reader of my other story, please don't be mad! I've been ill all week and working and generally just busy so I haven't had chance to write more. Besides, I have a bit of a block with that story at the minute and I want it to be really good, so I promise to work on it and update in the next week – I have no excuse, I'm on holiday for a week now. How much do I ramble?!?!_

**Part One: Remote Control**

It had been a long day. In fact, it had been one of _those_ days. Meredith Grey sighed as she left the OR and proceeded to wash her hands. Reaching for a paper towel, she began drying her hands as her colleague and best friend, Cristina Yang, left the same OR, followed by their resident, Dr Miranda Bailey. 'Such a shame,' she began as she reached for the soap, 'he had his whole life ahead of him.'

She was talking about the patient, of course. The young boy they'd left on the table in the OR – the young boy who'd arrived in the ER with almost irreparable injuries as the result of a horrific car accident, and who'd died just moments earlier. Meredith didn't respond to her resident's comment, and instead, threw her paper towel in the bin and left the room. She pulled off her scrub cap and let a mass of blonde hair tumble free as she allowed the door to slam shut behind her. Cristina finished washing her hands and followed the path of her friend, also declining to comment on her resident's heartfelt statement.

Meredith walked down the corridor from the OR in a daze, letting fatigue wash over her. She had, after all, been at the hospital for almost thirty hours now. The young boy's surgery had been her last for this shift, but Meredith felt like she'd be cheating if she left now, seeing as she'd only been in the OR for a couple of hours, and had the boy not died, they could have been in there half the night trying to repair the damage. Arriving at the nurses' station, Meredith asked for the chart of another of her patients and began flicking through it. A familiar voice came from behind her, requesting a chart for a patient, as Meredith had done a minute ago. Looking up, Meredith saw her antithesis – a tall, beautiful woman with striking red hair and sparkling blue eyes that were filled with kindness and compassion.

Upon noticing the young intern, Addison Montgomery-Shepherd smiled slightly and greeted her cordially before leaving with a chart that a nurse had just handed to her, the clicking of her designer heels fading as she headed towards the elevators. Slightly stunned, Meredith returned to her chart before grabbing a pen, making a note on one of the pages and closing it harshly. Before she had chance to turn towards her patient's room, she was stopped by the arrival of her best friend.

'What did _she_ want?' Cristina almost spat.

Slightly taken aback, Meredith frowned at her friend. 'Nothing,' she declared. 'She was just saying hello.'

'Smug is what she is, if you ask me,' Cristina retorted. 'You spend your days moping around this hospital like a lost puppy, which she clearly revels in, and she chooses a day when you most look like crap to acknowledge you. Seriously, Mer, what does he see in her?'

'I didn't ask for your opinion, did I?' Meredith replied, trying to sound angry, but failing miserably and sounding more anxious than anything. She left her chuckling friend to find her patient, and realising that she needed to go upstairs to first retrieve lab results, Meredith headed towards the elevators. She pushed the button to call the elevator and it responded almost immediately, the shiny doors flying open to reveal only one other passenger.

_Great,_ she thought. _Just great._ Meredith stared up at the handsome doctor vacantly before stepping into the elevator and turning around, so she was standing with her back to him. She chose the floor she wanted and the doors slid shut, isolating them. Meredith closed her eyes in a vain attempt to speed up the awkward journey. She could hear his shallow breathing and felt him watching her, longing for her. She inhaled deeply, choking back the lump that had now appeared in her throat and opened her eyes slowly. Her shoulders tensed and her head fell to one side as she felt him against her neck, painfully aware of the fact that he was breathing in her scent. Meredith felt his warmth radiating towards her, even though he wasn't actually touching her and a tear found its way into the corner of her eye as she realised just how much she actually missed him.

'Derek… don't…' she whispered, 'please…'

'I can't,' he murmured simply, as the elevator chimed and the doors flung open. Meredith stepped out of the elevator into reality and walked off, leaving him alone, once again.

- - - - -

After what had seemed like another thirty hours but was actually only two, Meredith was finally able to leave the hospital. Slamming her locker door shut, she pulled her hair out from underneath her coat, hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and exited the locker room. Walking out of the hospital, Meredith pulled out her car keys and checked her watch, reading 8:15. She decided that she couldn't go home just yet. George was on-call, which meant that if she went home she would either be alone in her room, or she would have to face Izzie – a chirpy personality that her miserable mood could not handle at that moment in time. Instead, Meredith returned the keys to her bag and headed across the street towards an array of neon lights, a strong desire for tequila taking over her need to sleep.

Entering Joe's bar, she made her way through the crowds and sat on an empty stool in front of her favourite bartender. 'The usual, please Joe,' she said lightly.

Joe smiled and poured her a shot of tequila. 'Drinking alone?' he asked, sliding the small glass across to her. Meredith grimaced as the alcohol burned its way down her throat.

'Nope,' she muttered, the glass hitting the surface of the bar with a thud. 'It's me and José tonight, so keep 'em coming.' Joe smiled and poured her another shot before turning to serve another customer.

Meredith didn't look up when a familiar figure sat down beside her, but instead continued her attempt to make a pyramid from her ever-growing pile of shot glasses. 'You're not seriously going to drive home, are you?' came the voice of the familiar figure. Meredith looked up to see Alex, who was no longer looking at her but instead ordering himself a beer. Taking a swig, he turned to Meredith for his reply, which he could see that in her drunken stupor, she was still figuring out.

Finally she returned his gaze. 'So what if I am?' she questioned. 'So what if I drink myself stupid, get into my car and drive home? Got nothing waiting for me there, anyways.'

Alex rolled his eyes and indicated to Joe that Meredith was to have no more to drink. He let her sit there for a while, ignoring the occasional incoherent mumbling, and he smirked to himself as she finally succumbed to the combination of alcohol and tiredness and fell asleep on the bar. He finished his beer and looked up at Joe, who was laughing at the tiny blonde woman who was snoring gently amidst the noise of the bar. 'Someone is going to be sorry in the morning,' he said.

'Tell me about it,' replied Alex, 'I'd better take her home,' and with that, he settled her bill, lifted Meredith into his arms and exited the bar.

- - - - -

'Oh my god,' cried Izzie when Alex appeared on the doorstep, carrying a still-sleeping Meredith. 'What the hell happened?'

'Tequila is what happened,' he replied bluntly, walking past Izzie into the house and placing Meredith on the couch. Alex stood up and saw that Izzie was standing in the doorway. 'She drank a lot,' he said, stating the obvious. 'You might want to put a bowl there or something,' he added, before heading towards the front door.

As he opened it, Izzie appeared behind him. 'Thanks Alex,' she said quietly. 'For bringing her home, I mean.'

Alex's face softened and he turned to face her. 'No problem,' he said, 'she's still hung up on McDreamy isn't she, and so I guess she earned the right to drink herself stupid once in a while.'

With that, Alex left. It was moments like that when Izzie realised that Alex was a good person and she remembered why she had fallen for him before. It wasn't the same now, not after what happened with Olivia, but she was pleased to know that Alex was still kind, and she appreciated that he had made sure Meredith had gotten home safely. Walking back into the living room, Izzie looked over at the sleeping form that was Meredith. She smiled as she thought of Meredith asleep in the bar, and empathised with everything that she was dealing with. Having to see Derek everyday at work was no treat for her, and having to see his wife – his perfect, leggy wife – everyday, too, only made matters worse.

- - - - -

Meredith groaned as she awoke, raising a hand to her throbbing head. Groggily, she tuned to look at her surroundings, realising that she was no longer at Joe's, neither was she in her bed. Looking up, she saw the two faces of her roommates staring back at her, somewhat unsympathetic smiles adorning their faces. 'Morning, sunshine!' exclaimed Izzie, 'how's your head?'

'Please…' began Meredith, sitting up. 'No shouting,' she said, placing her hands over her ears. 'Can I just get some coffee?'

'Of course,' replied Izzie, jumping up and making her way towards the kitchen. Meredith looked at George who smiled supportively. His smile faded quickly as her face dropped and her eyes widened. He grabbed the bucket that Izzie had placed next to the couch just in time, as Meredith threw up.

'It's ok, Mer,' he said tentatively, as she sat back up, pushing strands of stray hair behind her ears. Meredith smiled appreciatively at him and looked up to see Izzie returning with a steaming mug of coffee. She handed the mug to Meredith, who took a sip, inhaling the rich smell.

She sighed heavily, and realising how much of a mess she must look, she stood up and headed towards the stairs, without speaking, leaving her roommates rather surprised. Walking into the bathroom, Meredith stared into the mirror. _I look like death,_ she thought as she pored over her puffy eyes, still caked in last night's mascara and her unruly hair. She undressed and stepped into the shower, relieved at the comforting warmth of the water.

- - - - -

Sitting in her car in the hospital parking lot, Meredith once again returned to the mirror. Commenting to herself that her appearance was slightly improved since she'd showered, Meredith pulled her hair back into a ponytail, grabbed her bag and jumped out of the car. Making her way towards the entrance of the hospital, Meredith saw him in the lobby, waiting for the elevator. Knowing that if she tried to stall and waited till he'd gone, she'd be late, Meredith exhaled loudly and carried on walking, heading towards the stairs and hoping he wouldn't notice her.

'Meredith,' came his voice.

'Crap,' she muttered under her breath, stopping mid-step and turning around to see him standing before her. 'Hi,' she said, a small smile gracing her face.

'Hi,' he replied, mirroring her smile, only his was far wider. Derek hadn't thought about what he was going to say to Meredith and it was almost instinct for him to greet her as she'd walked past him. An awkward silence ensued, and Meredith was about to leave when Derek spoke the first words that came into his head. 'How are you?'

'I'm late,' Meredith replied flatly, and with that she continued up the stairs, once again leaving Derek standing alone. Sighing softly, Derek returned to the elevator and pressed the button again to call it.

- - - - -

'You made it, then?' Alex asked as Meredith hurried into the locker room and began to change quickly.

'Shut up, Alex,' she replied, assuming that either Izzie or George had put Alex in the picture about her drunken night, once again making her the top choice for locker room gossip. Cristina laughed sardonically at her best friends evident hangover.

'Shut up?' he retorted, laughing as he feigned offence, 'I take you home after you drink half your body weight in tequila and all I get is _shut up_?'

Meredith turned to look at Izzie, who nodded. Already in a bad mood because of her encounter with Derek and the monstrous ache between her temples, Meredith pretended that she knew Alex had bought her home and instead of apologising, she simply scowled at him and continued to change.

She was just tying the lace on her right sneaker as Dr Bailey walked into the room. Standing up, Meredith joined the rest of her fellow interns in a group in front of their resident, waiting for their daily tasks to be assigned. 'Karev, Stevens; pit, O'Malley; cardio with Dr Burke, Yang; scut and Dr Grey,' she said wryly, 'you have been specially requested by Dr Shepherd.'

The interns left the locker room for their assigned tasks and as she walked past her resident, Meredith could see the disapproving look on Dr Bailey's face. Ignoring it, she walked towards the stairs up to neuro, wandering what the hell Derek thought he was doing by requesting her.

- - - - -

'Ah, Dr Grey,' Derek said, smiling as Meredith approached him. He handed her a file, which she took with a slight snatch.

'What do you think you're doing?' she hissed as they walked down the corridor towards their patient's room.

Derek stopped. 'Meredith, you show real progress in Neurosurgery and you shouldn't let our history get in the way of advancing your career.'

'I don't,' she replied sternly. 'But when you request me to my resident, how do you think that makes me look? You can't do that, Derek,' she said, softening as he smiled at her apologetically. 'You just can't.'

'Ok,' he agreed, nodding ruefully, before they continued walking. Breaking the silence that had assembled between them, Derek changed the subject back to the case they were to be working on, trying his best to act normally around the woman he so desperately desired.

- - - - -

'So how's it going with McDreamy, then?' Cristina questioned as Meredith joined her fellow interns for lunch.

'Fine,' she replied inertly, picking up her fork and prodding her limp salad. All eyes were on Meredith, who was still staring at her salad, waiting for her inevitable outburst.

They didn't have to wait long. 'I mean, who does he think he is?' she started, throwing her fork down and ignoring her lunch. Izzie and Cristina stifled giggles as George glared at them, before giving Meredith a reassuring smile. 'He's using his position as an attending to control me, and not only that, I now have Bailey riding me because she thinks something's going on between us.'

'She probably doesn't, Mer,' Cristina said. 'She knows what an ass Shepherd is, and how much he hurt you – she's probably just being off with you to warn you not to be all Meredith-like and fall back into his trap.' Meredith scowled at this, which caused Cristina and Izzie to grin.

'And besides,' Alex added, 'they don't call her the Nazi for nothing. She wouldn't be Bailey if she didn't have an opinion on the attending who requested the services of his slutty intern, even if she is his ex-slutty intern.' Meredith frowned derisively at Alex, who responded with a shrug, but she couldn't help but smile at his frank opinion.

With that, normal conversation ensued and as Meredith got up to leave the table, they all agreed to meet in Joe's that evening, her eyes rolling as the predictable comments about Meredith's drinking habits began.

- - - - -

Sitting alone, Derek took a sip of coffee while examining the screen in front of him, which had just bought up the CT image of his patient's brain. He frowned and replaced his cup on the desk in front of him, looking up as Meredith entered the room and stood beside him. Derek smiled at her, which obtained no response, and instead he moved aside so she could get a better view of the screen.

'There's damage to occipital region,' he told her, pointing to the relevant part of the image, 'which explains what?' he asked. He knew he was the last person she wanted to be with and although he didn't regret requesting her, as he'd got to spend the day with her, he did feel bad because it was clear she was uncomfortable in his presence.

'It explains why he's been hallucinating and has experienced a loss in vision,' she answered professionally.

'Good,' Derek said, 'schedule the operation for tomorrow,' and he got up to leave, stopping before he reached the doorway. 'And Meredith?'

Meredith turned, waiting for his reply. 'Yeah,' she sighed.

'You don't have to scrub in if you don't want to. I know it's been weird for you working with me today.'

'He's my patient, too,' she said, relaxing her shoulders and standing to face Derek. 'I'm not going to miss out on a surgery because of our _history_,' she added, using his own words against him.

Meredith turned back to the screen and Derek smiled as he left the room, knowing that she'd firmly put him in his place.


	2. Part Two: Heart and Mind

**Part Two: Heart and Mind**

Staring up at the clock on the wall next to the second floor nurses station, Meredith breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally 7pm and she had finished writing her discharge notes and could go home. Heading for the locker room, she changed quickly and left, heading towards Joe's, where she knew her friends were meeting her. They were all finishing at eight, except Alex, who was on call and would therefore not be joining them.

Meredith entered the bar and sat down in the same spot she had been the previous night. Noticing the familiar blonde hair, Joe poured a shot of tequila and placed it in front of her before she even had chance to ask. 'Back again?' he said, with a knowing grin.

'I am,' she replied, 'but everyone is meeting me here, so don't let me get too drunk,' she added with a mischievous smile.

'Impossible,' Joe stated. And when Meredith gazed up at him, a confused look on her face, he elaborated. 'You drank nearly all of my tequila last night, and with your liver, the amount I have left wouldn't even have you smiling, let alone falling asleep on my bar,' he said with a wink.

Meredith blushed as she recalled a few memories of the night before and returned to her tequila, which she chose not to knock back in a single gulp. 'That's not at all like you,' came a voice from a few seats down. Meredith looked up to see Derek smiling at her, nursing a glass of scotch. His smile faded as he saw that she looked less than pleased to see him, and she picked up her shot glass and drank the tequila in one mouthful. Derek took a sip from his drink and moved down a seat, leaving only one empty stool between them.

'Where's your wife?' Meredith uttered viciously.

'She's on call, tonight. Thought I'd grab a drink before I go home alone,' he replied calmly, fixating on the harshness on her usually soft face. 'Do you want another one?' he asked, indicating to her empty shot glass.

'Ok,' she nodded, and he smiled as some of the softness returned to her face.

Half an hour and several shots later, Meredith was feeling fairly relaxed, happy even, and she wasn't even resenting Derek's presence. In fact, truth be told – not that it would – Meredith was quite enjoying his company as they chatted like old friends, both of them trying to avoid any mention of his wife, or their relationship.

Derek knocked back what must have been at least his fourth glass of scotch and he was beginning to feel a little tipsy. He could see that Meredith probably shouldn't have anymore to drink and found himself shuffling over once again, this time sitting next to her. 'Derek, don't,' Meredith warned as she felt his warm presence beside her.

'Don't what?' he said, coyly.

'Don't anything,' she replied. 'I remember what happened last time we got drunk together in this bar, and I have no excuse. I know about the wife this time.'

'Mer…' he began.

'No, Derek, don't say anything. Just go,' she pleaded.

Derek finished the last of his drink and stood up, pulling on his jacket. He turned to leave, but before he did, Derek took one last look at Meredith, now only able to see her back and her beautiful hair. He leaned into her and she lifted her head slightly, closing her eyes. 'I miss you,' he whispered softly, and Meredith blinked away a tear, letting it run down her cheek. 'And I never did get a goodbye kiss,' he added, his voice filled partially with mischief, but mostly with regret and sadness.

Stunned, Meredith turned her head sharply to face him, a look of bewilderment on her face. Derek noticed the tear that was threatening to drop off the side of her cheek and he reached up and wiped it away gently with his thumb. He gazed into her eyes, his heart aching for her and he smiled softly, which she returned somewhat awkwardly. Meredith broke the gaze, and stared down at the bar before he noticed another spilling tear.

'See you, Meredith,' he said quietly, and when she turned around a minute or so later, he'd gone.

- - - - -

It wasn't long until Meredith was joined by her friends, who all of a sudden came bursting through the door of the bar chattering loudly. Cristina took a seat next to her, the seat where Derek had been sitting only a few minutes earlier. 'You ok?' she asked, eyeing the mini collection of shot glasses on the bar in front of her friend.

'Oh yeah,' Meredith replied, a hint of cynicism in her voice, 'I'm just peachy.'

'Good,' stated Cristina. She could see that obviously Meredith wasn't all right, but she was tired and unwilling to pursue the subject, knowing full well that Meredith would probably spill all after another drink. Cristina ordered herself a drink, and when Joe placed a beer in front of her, she requested another for Meredith.

Meredith took a sip from her beer before looking up in response to Izzie's laughter. 'What's so funny?' she asked.

'Bambi has a crush,' Cristina replied matter-of-factly.

'On a resident!' Izzie cried, still laughing. George was now frowning.

'I knew I shouldn't have told you,' he said quietly.

'Oh relax, George, we're only playing with you,' Izzie explained.

'Yeah, lighten up. You should just go for it.' Cristina said, surprising herself with her level of understanding towards George's situation.

'Seriously?' he asked, also slightly amazed by Cristina's comment.

'Yeah,' she continued, 'she seems to like you too. But whatever you do George, make sure she doesn't have any disgusting diseases first.' Cristina grinned, pleased that she hadn't gone completely soft.

'Or a penchant for sleeping with Alex,' Izzie chimed in.

Meredith had remained silent throughout the entire conversation and pitied George a little for the stick he was receiving. Her mind flashed back to her conversation with Derek earlier, and she decided that she wasn't in the mood for listening to her friends and their banter. She took a final sip from her beer, leaving it half full and got up from her bar stool. 'Ignore them, George,' she began, grabbing her bag and coat, 'I'm sure Callie is great and you deserve to be happy.'

George smiled at her appreciatively before turning back to Izzie and Cristina, who had been silenced by Meredith's uncharacteristically encouraging words.

'Ok, who are you and what have you done with Meredith?' Cristina asked.

'I'm fine,' stated Meredith, pulling her hair out from under her coat and slipping a scarf around her neck. 'I just have someplace I need to be,' and with that, she left without another word.

'Odd.' Cristina commented.

'You know, she brushes her teeth in the shower? She says it saves time.' Izzie said, laughing gently. 'Now that is odd.'

- - - - -

Meredith knew she probably shouldn't be driving, but she told herself that she felt fine. She jumped into her car and turned on the engine, rubbing her hands together and shivering while she waited for the engine to warm up a little. After a minute or so, she pulled on her seatbelt and drove out of the car park.

She pulled up on her driveway and looked up at the looming shadow that was her house. The windows were dark and rain splattered and the house generally looked rather unwelcoming. Meredith looked down at the clock that was flashing from her dashboard. 10:37, it read, it's green numbers illuminating the car. _Screw it_, she thought, recognising how early it still was and also realising that she didn't want to go into that big house and be alone. Again.

Meredith backed her car off the drive and drove away, heading back the way she'd come.

- - - - -

Derek lay on the bed of his trailer in the darkness. It wasn't until he'd gotten in his car that he realised how drunk he really was. Relieved to have some peace and quiet, he relished the silence that surrounding him. Not that he didn't love his wife, because he did, and he loved the way she bustled around the trailer occasionally tripping over something and cursing at how much she hated living in it. However, tonight he needed quiet and as he closed his eyes, his thoughts returned to the bar earlier that night, and to Meredith and how much he missed her.

He was just beginning to nod off when he heard the noise of an engine and he opened his eyes as the yellow of headlights flooded the dark trailer with light. Sitting up, Derek flicked on the lights and groaned as his eyes adjusted. He presumed it would be Addison, and so he made his way to the door to unlock it, so she could let herself in.

As he got to the door, Derek peered through the obscured mesh that was the front door and instead of seeing the expected image of his wife, fumbling about with her coat and bag and complaining about her heels as they stuck into the soft grass, he saw Meredith, her simple form glowing as the light from the trailer danced on her soft features.

Forgetting that he was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt, Derek opened the door and stepped outside. 'Hi,' was all he could muster.

Meredith looked a little bewildered, like she was as unsure as to why she was there as he was. 'Hi,' she replied. She looked up at him in his simple clothing and surrounded by the trailer, and smiled as she thought of how little he looked like one of the country's finest neurosurgeons. He returned the smile, and gazed at her, their eyes locking.

After a moment, Meredith stepped onto the decking, walking towards Derek, who was still standing in the doorway. 'So…' she began. They were close, now, less than a foot apart and still staring intently at one another, as though the entire world had fallen away around them.

'So,' Derek echoed, his smile fading slightly.

Meredith sighed and licked her lips, which had become dry, and she realised just how nervous she was. 'So apparently I owe you a goodbye kiss?'

'It would appear so,' Derek replied, with a mischievous smile.

'But you're married,' Meredith retorted, 'you're married and now I'm here. And I don't feel guilty. I don't feel like the dirty ex-mistress. I just feel… empty.'

'I am married,' he replied simply.

Their gazes were still locked and there was a comfortable silence for a few moments. 'So…' Meredith began again.

'So,' echoed Derek, once more. The tension was escalating and Meredith stubbornly refused to make the first move. Unable to control himself any longer, Derek brushed his lips against hers. Meredith didn't flinch. She'd known exactly where she was going when she pulled off of her driveway at 10:37 and here she was, less than an hour later, everything she'd gone through to heal the wounds caused by Derek and the arrival of his wife was shot to hell. And Meredith didn't care.

She returned the kiss, bringing her arms around his neck as he reached for her waist. The kiss became harder and as Derek grappled his fingers through her hair, Meredith pulled away. Breathing heavily, she pulled her arms from around his neck and he removed his hands from her hair. Derek looked at her questioningly. 'You have a wife,' she declared.

'I do,' he answered honestly, which contrasted heavily with the look of longing in his eyes as he gazed fiercely at Meredith.

Once again, there was silence for a minute or two. Finally, Meredith spoke, and Derek's shoulders relaxed in relief. 'For old time's sake?'

He smiled as she placed her hands on his chest and placed a delicate kiss on his lips. 'For old time's sake,' he agreed, returning the kiss and allowing their lips to collide ardently.

They remained there for a while, simply allowing their tongues to explore each other's mouth and Derek relished in how sweet she tasted. Meredith felt him shiver a little and, realising they were still standing outside she pushed him into the trailer. They stood inside the doorway and Derek let his hands wander to her hips and up insider her jumper, his warm hands caressing her back until he could bear it no longer and he lifted the jumper over her head. He remembered how beautiful her body was and he looked up at her, watching as she shook her hair free, allowing it to settle around her shoulders.

Meredith smiled at him and reached for his shirt, tugging gently on the hem, before pulling it off him. She stroked his chest gently before kissing him again and allowing him to push her further into the trailer. They were now standing at the foot of the bed and Meredith reached hungrily for his boxer shorts, noticing how much he wanted her, too.

Derek pulled away from Meredith's mouth and looked her in the face. She was biting her lower lip and staring back at him, her eyes sparkling. It drove him crazy when she bit her lip like that and he reached for her neck, spreading kisses there, before moving down to her collarbone and listening as she groaned gently. _Payback_, he thought with a smile. Meredith knew what made him crazy, and in the same way, Derek knew that her collarbone was one of the most sensitive parts of her body. He remembered back to when they were together, when they'd spend all night exploring one another's bodies, and how he'd spend hours kissing and tasting her skin, only to always return to her collarbone.

Derek felt her hands running through his hair before pulling his head away from her neck and up so that he was facing her. He leaned up to her and kissed her, before reaching for her waist and sliding his hands down her curves until he reached the waistband of her jeans. Derek fumbled with her belt for a few seconds before undoing the top button and unzipping the tough denim. She wiggled her hips a little as he pulled the jeans down and let them fall to the ground. They stepped out of their respective bottoms and Meredith pushed Derek down on to the bed gently, before climbing on top of him. She clasped her hands in his and placed them above his head, lowering herself so that their faces were close.

She kissed him hard, before he pulled his hands free and placed them on her shoulders, feeling the delicate skin and stroking her arms. Meredith kissed the side of his mouth and along his jaw line, but quickly moved down to his neck after his stubble began to burn her lips. She kissed his chest softly, inhaling the fading smell of his cologne, the same scent that had worn off her sheets a while ago.

Derek's hands moved over her shoulders and down her back and again, remembering how she liked it, he stroked small circles gently on her lower back. He did this for a few minutes while Meredith continued to plant kisses on his neck, tasting his skin, and moving her hands up so that she could once again run her hands through his hair. As she did this, Derek moved his hands up her back, tugging delicately at her bra. Moving one hand back down to where it had been moments earlier, he used his other to deftly undo the clasp of her bra and she sat up on his stomach, removing her hands from his hair and allowing him to gently slide her bra off.

Meredith looked down at Derek almost self-consciously as he gazed at her near-naked body, drinking in her beauty. He placed his hands around her wrists and smiled at her reassuringly, before pulling her back down to his face and kissing her. He let go of her wrists and moved his hands up to cup her face, holding back falling pieces of hair so he could see her beautiful face fully and she did the same, caressing his face softly, her thumbs stroking his cheeks gently.

They stopped kissing for a moment and remained in that position, just staring deeply into the eyes of the other. Meredith smiled hesitantly, feeling a pang of emotion in her stomach. She couldn't describe the feeling. She didn't know if it was guilt, apprehension or just the memory of the pain this man had caused her. Derek smiled back at her, restoring comfort but his smile quickly faded as she blinked quickly, and allowed a tear to escape and run halfway down her cheek before dropping onto his face. 'What is it?' he questioned softly.

Meredith exhaled deeply and some of the sparkle disappeared from her eyes. Her gaze left his as she fought back another tear, losing miserably as it trickled down her face. She looked back at him intently and bit her bottom lip, forgetting how crazy it made him, and lowered her eyes. 'I miss you.'

Using his thumb to wipe away the second tear, Derek's heart wrenched. 'I miss you, too,' he whispered. They continued to stare at one another, neither wanting being the first to break the gaze before Derek leaned up and kissed her gently, intimately. The kiss was soft, real, and loving. He rolled her over in a swift motion so that he was now lying above her. Using one arm to hold himself up, Derek used his other hand to touch Meredith's face, stroking away strands of her hair before leaning down and kissing her again and extending his kisses across her cheek and down to her neck, just below her ear. And then it hit him, the smell of her hair, that sacred scent that embodied everything that was Meredith, to him. Derek inhaled deeply, and allowed the air to escape his lungs slowly, clinging onto the flowery aroma for as long as possible.

When he finally decided that the smell of Meredith's hair was permanently engraved in his mind, he moved his kisses down the familiar trail of her neck and collarbone, extending the path to her bare chest and tasting the soft skin of her breasts. Derek moved his mouth across to her left nipple, brushing his tongue across it until he felt it harden. Holding himself up on his knees now, he kissed her face and placed his hands on her shoulders, stroking his way down as he pulled himself into a kneeling position, until his hands were resting on her hips.

Meredith looked up at Derek, who'd paused momentarily to figure out his next move. She smiled at him and inhaled sharply, holding her breath slightly as he caressed her hipbone with his thumb. She bit down on her lower lip seductively as Derek lowered his head once more and continued kissing her stomach, gradually moving lower and lower. As he almost reached the rim of her underwear, he focused his kisses on this point, knowing that it would have the desired effect. Derek smiled with delight as it did and her back arched towards him.

He was becoming impatient now and after Meredith's back relaxed into the bed, he leaned over her and they kissed. Derek pulled away from her mouth and rested his forehead on hers for a minute or two, taking time to smile at her. She returned his smile; her eyes transfixed on his and reached her hands up to once again caress his face. Derek kissed her lightly before pulling away and sitting upright. He stroked his hands across her stomach before placing his thumbs underneath the elastic of her underwear. He moved backwards, pulling the lacy panties with him and slipped them gently over her feet. Finally there was no clothing holding them apart and he leaned back over her so that his chest was touching hers.

Meredith tightened her legs around him, forcing the closeness she'd desired for months. Derek lifted his head and kissed her deeply before pulling away to look at her, to check on her even – to make sure she was still ok. Meredith licked her lips and breathed heavily, and Derek felt her chest rise and fall below him. She smiled at him fondly and nodded. Closing her eyes and relaxing her entire body in his presence, Meredith cried out faintly as he entered her.

Beads of sweat had formed on Derek's forehead and as Meredith opened her eyes and noticed this, she reached up and wiped them away, bringing up her other hand and running her fingers through his hair, grabbing chunks as her pleasure intensified. Derek flinched a little but continued, and began kissing her neck as her head rolled back. He began licking as well as kissing and moved down to her collarbone. The sensitivity of his tongue caused her back to arch her back once more, allowing him to thrust deeper inside.

Meredith could feel the pressure inside her mounting as she moved her hands from his hair and down his chest before placing them on his back, her gentle strokes becoming harder before finally, her nails dug into his back as her pleasure mounted. Derek didn't draw back from the slight pain and instead moved his arms under shoulders, drawing her closer to him. He nestled his face into her neck as his pleasure also increased, the scent of her hair filling his nostrils only heightening his desires.

Finally, she stopped clinging to his back and relaxed her hands, before pulling him into a tight embrace. Derek looked up to face her and could see in her eyes that she was almost there. He locked his lips with hers, biting down on them as they climaxed together, and a slight yelp escaping her mouth as their bodies trembled together.

- - - - -

They lay, still joined together, for a long time before Derek finally lifted his head to see Meredith looking back at him, smiling. He returned the smile and rolled over, sitting up to pull the duvet over them. Derek sat against the headboard and Meredith sat up and cuddled into him for warmth. He nuzzled his face into her head and breathed in the smell of her hair for what he knew would be the final time.

Meredith placed a hand on his chest, causing him to lift his head. She pulled back a little so that she was facing him and looked into his eyes. Their gaze spoke all of the silent words of emotion that simply did not need to be said aloud, before being sealed with a gentle kiss.

As they pulled apart, Meredith sniffed a little and once more, she couldn't fight back tears and they trickled down her face. It was only when she blinked away more and looked up at Derek, that she noticed that he too, was bleary-eyed. A small tear fell down his cheek and Meredith smiled broadly, causing Derek to chuckle. She wiped away his lone tear and gazed at him for just a moment longer, before climbing out of the bed and dressing silently.

Derek watched as she collected all of her clothing together and dressed. As she buckled up the belt on her jeans, he clambered out of the bed and pulled on his boxers and t-shirt. Meredith made her way to the door and before she left, turned to see Derek right behind her. She looked up at him and sighed, hoisting her bag up onto her shoulder. 'Goodbye, Derek,' she said, smiling.

Derek swallowed hard and reached up to her face, stroking it gently, mentally noting every curve. He smiled back at her softly. 'Goodbye, Meredith,' he replied, dropping his hand and watching as she walked out of his life.

_So that's it. I hope you like it. It actually upsets me a little bit because I think it would've been nice if they had ended it like this. I know I wrote that 'she walked out of his life' – she didn't really, because obviously they work together. But metaphorically she did. Because he chose Addison, which is a decision that I wanted to keep in the story as I wanted it to be as though it could have happened, and not an alternative universe._

_Please leave reviews. I doubt I'll write more, as I already have a work in progress, but maybe someday I could write another one. Who knows?_


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